如何与行色匆匆又心事重重的日子来个了断

WHAT TO DO TO HEAL THE FEAR AND EXHAUSTION INSIDE

I thought that I got anxious and tired out of no reason. Or more specifically, I am just too tired to figure out the reasons behind. Confronting the fear inside consumes our energy, and it is a process involving pain and discomfort, and our instinct avoiding what is pain and effort taking will get us go around the things we need to envisage to get it solved. And that's why we usually repeat the same damn situation even if we feel the great demand inside to get a solution. Where exactly does the fear and exhaustion come from? It is all about uncertainty, the sense of passiveness, and the feeling of powerlessness.

I can do as many as tasks to get things moving, but I can't stand getting things done for nothing. Unfortunately, I am busy every day but things are not going to be solved no matter how hard I work, especially when the fulfillment of it depends on the feedback of certain people responsible but giving a damn to what should be done by them, or the conditions uncontrolled by me. To deal with the helpless feeling over uncertainty, I would like to get what's certain done and get the spirit lifted a little bit high for the followings uncertain. Once I have done my part, I would like to leave out all the rest instead of keeping it in my chest and worry all day away. I would like to do something for self cultivation, spare some time from the chaotic and learn something practically useful and get well prepared for a better leap once my tide comes. Make sure what's certain and real for you if you spare some effort in it, and that's something to be focus on every time you are likely to get worried about something pending.

I hate the feeling of being pushed forward by something compulsory and urgent, and that's the case of my working status, keeping hurried around struggling ahead to get the tasks lag behind covered. I can't help feeling that time and energy is limited when things, which should be taken care of by two more persons, undone keep piling up onto me, while I have to keep catching up with the pace with the other things getting in my way, which should be handled by person related but turning a blind eye his responsibility. I see that I fail to dispatch the package and get the packing information to the warehouse keeper the moment I hear the cellphone ringing and decide to pick it up. I know what the call is exactly about, urging me for the possible ETD of cargo postponed for half a month already. I have no feedback from the production since the shortage of materials gets him no guarantee for the manufacture in the coming week. It is passive to have my customers keep calling me for the result which I should have kept them posted if I get things confirmed with the production. However, the production without reply leaves me extremely helpless when I have to answer the phone with no certain feedback. This is the unpleasant experience killing me. The best way to stand against the exhaustion caused by passiveness is to do something actively and voluntarily. Find something I feel like doing and always have the passion and patience to. I do know why it is important for people to have a hobby unbreakable by anything damn and dull. And it is a kind of relaxation and relief to do things like this. For me, it is to dance in front of mirror, sing aloud in an empty room, massage when listening to English songs, and read the English edition while taking recording.

I am tired when I am powerless, and powerlessness plays an overwhelming part in my fear. It seems that I have done all my part but things get hindered and are moving nowhere. I have done almost everything only to find that I could do nothing about it, and I get suffocated when I realize how indifferent those people relevant are when I have done my job to make things easier to them. I see that they are perplexed by something uncertain and passive in front of their tasks. And they are powerless the way I am while they fail to get me any response. They are powerless and they choose to be indifferent and unresponsive. And this makes my feel uncomfortably struggling because I don't want to be the same as them even if I have experienced the same thing, uncertain, passive and powerless. It is good to be clear about what I hate or fear or wanna get rid of, although it causes pain. To stand against the sense of powerlessness, I should do something I have full control of. Mind my own business while others show no reaction, do everything that may make me confident and feel good about myself if what's going around keeps me frustrated and unpleasant. Make the best adjustment I could manage, and try the most creative and effective way to get tasks handled. Just separate my joyful hours after work from the restless office time.